Category Archives: Blog

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What Are Things You Can Do to Take Care of Your Mental Health?

Mental health refers to our emotional, psychological and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel or act in one way or the other. It also determines the way we handle stress, relate with others and make choices.

Mental health is important in all stages of our life and that’s why we should do everything humanly possible to make sure we take good care of our mental health.

6 Tips for Caring for Your Mental Health

You should do the following things if you want to take good care of your mental health:

Share Your Feelings

A problem shared is a problem halved, so goes an old saying. Sharing your problems with others is a proven way to beat stress. So, it makes more sense to tell others, especially family and friends, how you feel and see if they can help than trying to bottle up your emotions and die in silence.

Exercise

Exercising regularly keeps you active and boosts your self-esteem. It helps your brain and your mental health. Regular exercise will also help you concentrate, sleep well and feel better. Exercise isn’t just about doing sport or going to the gym. You can exercise by simply walking in the park, gardening or doing house chores.

Eat Well

The importance of food to your emotional, psychological and social well-being can’t be overemphasized. Good food helps the brain to stay healthy and function effectively. A healthy, balanced diet includes lots of fruits and vegetables, bread, wholegrain cereals, nuts and seeds, oily fish, dairy products and plenty of water.

Drink Responsibly

Sometimes, we drink alcohol to change our mood or deal with fear and loneliness but such effects are only temporary. We often realize ourselves when the drink wears off. Drinking is a bad way to manage difficult feelings and too much alcohol can damage our body.

Keep in Touch

Keeping in touch with family and friends is a good way to deal with the stresses of life. This is because some of them can know what you’re passing through even without being told. Sometimes, they encourage you to speak up so they can lend you a helping hand. Even if you can’t see face-to-face, you can communicate regularly with them thanks to the internet.

Ask for Help

You can always ask for professional help where all else fails. Seeking professional help like counseling will go a long way in maintaining your mental health. Counselors can understand and give you advice and guidance about your personal problems. They know where the shoe pinches you and how they can help.

As we celebrate this year’s Mental Health Awareness Month, it’s everyone’s duty to join hands “Together for Mental Health” in order to make the society a better place to live in. You can start it by going for a mental health therapy today.

 

The Center for Connection, Healing and Change provides mental health therapy for people of all ages. We offer a range of services focused on healing relationships, forging attachment, facilitating emotional closeness and exploring the mind-body connection, all aimed at restoring well-being for our clients. Our services facilitate connection, healing and change in all aspects of what it means to be human: emotional, mental, physical, relational and spiritual. Schedule a free consultation today, or visit our offices in Woodbridge or Fairfax if you’re in Virginia. For more information or enquiries, email us or call (703) 878-3290.

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What Is Co-Parenting Therapy?

Co-parenting is the act of sharing parental duties. Oftentimes, parents are divorced or separated. While some of them can adapt to the situation more quickly, others find it difficult to do so and struggle with conflict, miscommunication or absence of communication.

Co-parenting therapy therefore equips them with the requisite tools and skills to help improve their communication, reduce conflict and plan for a better future.  

Benefits of Co-Parenting

A good co-parenting relationship has the following benefits:

  • Children live better lives.
  • They have higher self-esteem.
  • They learn good social skills.
  • They enjoy better relationships with their parents.
  • They learn organizational skills.
  • They do better in life because they are not bogged down by conflicts.
  • Co-parents have a smoother life and make more impact on their children’s lives.
  • The family remains safe and a place of comfort for everyone.

Advantages of Co-Parenting Therapy

Co-parenting therapy helps in three main ways, namely conflict resolution, healthy communication and parenting strategies.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution is one of the main benefits of co-parenting therapy. More often than not, divorced or separated parents continue to grapple with the same issues they had while they were still married. This can take a toll on their mental health or that of their children and make it difficult if not nearly impossible to have anything to do in the future. A good co-parenting therapy therefore helps them understand each other better and equips them with the relevant conflict resolution skills to be able to resolve their differences amicably whenever the need arises.

Healthy Communication

Healthy communication is another benefit of a good co-parenting therapy. It teaches co-parents effective communication strategies and affords them the opportunity to communicate better and nip conflicts in the bud before they rear their ugly head. With healthy communication, co-parents can schedule time sharing and events focusing on their children, address issues without trading blames and exchange information without reliving the past.

Parenting Strategies

The other benefit of co-parenting counseling is parenting strategies. Co-parenting therapy helps co-parents know how to take better care of their children in the face of a messy divorce or separation. It helps them learn how to be consistent with both households, arrange workable time sharing, pick-ups or drop-offs, have supplies in both households and perform any other duties as may be required from time to time for the wellbeing of their kids.

Looking after a child is difficult but raising a child all alone is even more difficult and twice the workload. The Center for Connection, Healing and Change recognizes this fact, understands the issues that tear families apart and works with families to resolve these issues and find more satisfying ways to talk and connect while protecting parents and their children. 

 

Divorced or separated with kids? Get co-parenting therapy today and raise better kids together. Schedule a free consultation today, or visit CCHC offices in Woodbridge or Fairfax if you are in Virginia. For more information or inquiries, email CCHC or call (703) 878-3290.

 

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What Are Some Signs You Have Anxiety?

Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure, according to the American Psychological Association.

Anxiety is intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. It can be normal when it occurs in stressful situations like interviews, public speaking or examinations. 

However, anxiety becomes a problem when you begin to have excessive feelings which might interfere with your daily life such as taking care of yourself, holding down a job, enjoying leisure time, trying new things, and forming or maintaining relationships.

Anxiety can impact your physical and mental health negatively, often having short- or long-term effects on your mind and body.

Types of Anxiety Disorders

There are several types of anxiety disorders. They include agoraphobia, anxiety disorder due to a medical condition, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, selective mutism, separation anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, specific phobias and substance-induced anxiety disorder.

Signs of Anxiety

Common signs and symptoms of anxiety include a rapid heart rate, nervousness, fast breathing, restlessness, panic attacks, chest pain, shaking, sweating, dizziness, fatigue, weakness, nausea, sleep problems, difficulty concentrating, feeling too hot or cold and digestive issues.

Other signs and symptoms include headaches, grinding of teeth, changes in sex drive, low mood and depression, obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, and periods of temporary relief which often follows the compulsive behaviors.

Causes of Anxiety

Anxiety may be caused by traumatic events, inherited traits, side effects of medications and underlying health issues like diabetes, heart disease, thyroid problems, respiratory disorders, alcohol withdrawal, chronic pain, tumors and drug misuse or withdrawal.

Risk Factors of Anxiety

There are some factors that may increase the risk of developing an anxiety disorder. They include trauma, stress due to an illness, personality, stress build-up and mental health disorders like depression.

Complications of Anxiety

Anxiety disorder can cause or worsen other mental and physical conditions like depression, insomnia, substance misuse, headaches, chronic pain, digestive or bowel problems, social isolation, suicide, inability to function at school or work and poor quality of life.

Prevention of Anxiety

You can reduce the impact of the symptoms of anxiety through the following ways:

Getting Help

Get help as early as possible if you feel like having an anxiety disorder. This will make it easier to treat.

Staying Active

Participate in activities you love and enjoy interactions and relationships that can lessen your worries.

Avoiding Alcohol or Drug Use

Drinking alcohol or using drugs can cause or worsen anxiety. For an addict, quitting can make you anxious. Seek help if you can’t quit on your own.

Treatment of Anxiety

While anxiety is common, its origins are unique to each person. Understanding the symptoms allows you to heal any unresolved issues and create space for a sense of internal peace, calm and firmness. The Center for Connection, Healing and Change offers a deeper dive into your relationship with anxiety and how it plays out in your life, utilizing evidence-based therapy models and offering a tried-and-tested approach to treating anxiety.

 

Need anxiety treatment? Schedule a free consultation today, or visit CCHC offices in Woodbridge or Fairfax if you are in Virginia. 

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How Important is Self-Care to Your Health

The meaning of self-care is quite self-explanatory, which means, taking care of oneself. Anything that you do for the betterment of your health; physically or mentally or even in a spiritual capacity, can be regarded as self-care. Therapies, like anxiety treatment, depression treatment, or even adolescent counseling, are also considered self-care. Self-care is ignored, whenever you find yourself in difficult and challenging situations, whereas you should always keep it on top of your mind.

Why is self-care important?

In today’s world, you are expected to work for longer hours, denoting the idea that it means a person is working more productively. These types of conditions can take away the opportunity for self-care without even you noticing.

However, contrarily, you can increase your productivity in a much more efficient way; by engaging in different self-care routines. For example, marriage counseling or couple’s therapy kind of engagements deem to be very beneficial for everyone; married or in a relationship.

You may often hear the phrase “burning that candle at both ends” at workplaces, educational establishments, etc. However, having fewer sleeping hours on your schedule has significant consequences. Burnout, depression, and anxiety are a few amongst a whole lot of other bad implications.

Opting for anxiety therapy or depression counseling has clinically proved to be very beneficial for our mental as well as physical well-being. Anxiety counseling can reduce stress and in comparison boosts our concentration, happiness, and overall energy.

Consequences of neglecting self-care

Low energy, hopelessness, lower patience, headaches, sleep deprivation, unhealthy diet, lack of concentration, and reduced performance at work and overall – these are some of the common symptoms and consequences of neglecting self-care.

Ignoring self-care routines can suppress your immune system as well. The stress hormones will begin to increase passively as you will keep on disregarding the idea of self-care. Which, in turn, will lead to mental health diseases, like anxiety or depression. If you keep on ignoring the idea of opting for that anxiety therapy or depression therapy that your friends told you about, you may find yourself getting sick more often.

Lack of self-care can also lead to a significant decline in your productivity. The general belief regarding self-care routines is that if we are spending our time attending anxiety therapy or depression counseling – it means that we are not doing a lot of other things that need to be done.

More often than not, people who neglect self-care are over-stressed which can very negatively affect your health to a point that it could kill you. Having a higher stress rate can lead to a lot of health issues like high blood pressure and heart diseases, and cardiovascular diseases are the biggest reasons for deaths throughout the world.

Therapy can be helpful for self-care

Therapy can be very beneficial in realizing the cause of negative emotions and assists in getting rid of unhealthy mental conditions. It will help you be more productive and active towards your professional as well as personal life. By focusing on the root of each problem, therapy improves mental health – which in turn will positively influence your physical health as well.

You can opt for therapy at any age or stage of life; marriage/couples therapy, teen therapy, adolescent therapy, etc. Anxiety therapy or depression therapy will assist you and provide you with the tools to overcome your anxiety or depression and focus on your self-care.

 

It is very important to “put your oxygen mask on first” and “fill up your cup.” It’s so important to take care of yourself at least as much as you care for others. Please schedule a time to speak at our locations in Woodbridge, Virginia, Fairfax, Virginia or our telehealth options.

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How Relationships Affect Your Happiness

Humans are inherently social “animals.” Throughout their lives, they form bonds with other humans in order to thrive in society. Positive relationships have more than just the obvious psychological effects, such as happiness and contentment in life, but also boost the long-term health of individuals and can even account for a longer life span with a happy, fulfilled life. On the other hand, negative relationships have adverse effects on a person, often becoming the cause of stress, reluctance to form new relationships, or worse, induce anxiety, depression, and long-term emotional trauma. 

 

Being Happy with Oneself is Important to Nurture Good Relationships with Others

We can never have happy relationships with others if we are not happy with our own lives, and it is very important to be happy with ourselves before we pursue a relationship. Often, people chase relationships as they are not content with their lives and end up in repetitive, toxic cycles that only sap their energy. So first, a person should learn to be able to handle themselves before deciding to handle the emotional weight of a relationship. Treatments such as counseling for depression, anxiety, EMDR, in addition to exercises like meditation, yoga, and mindfulness, often lead an individual to be able to be content with their own selves and lead to better relationships with others.

 

How Relationships Affect Teens and Adolescents

Love knows no age and no boundaries, and it is important to realize as we grow older, that teenage love is full of obstacles and challenges we overcome as we grow older. To this end, teen therapy, involving teenagers in counseling them so that they can understand their needs and learn to navigate the world. Teen therapy or adolescent therapy is often useful to ensure that they get the guidance they need. In addition to romantic relationships, familial relationships and friendships also contribute to the development of adolescents and teenagers. Often, due to absentee parents, military life, separated parents, divorce, toxic friendships, a child can go down a dark path. Treating a child, or a teenager, through the use of therapy, can overcome problems such as ADHD, trauma, and anger issues. 

 

How Outside Counsel Can Help Nurture Happier Relationships

It is extremely important in relationships to be able to understand when there is a need for professional guidance towards navigating their relationship is essential. To that end, couples therapy is beneficial, as it can help partners reconnect and be able to discuss their emotional needs and resolve any issues. Emotionally focused couples therapy is often used to forge a long-lasting sense of happiness in a relationship, to repair the fractures that have formed in between them, and to discuss their needs with each other.

Premarital counseling may help couples connect and understand each other better to work towards a long-term relationship. In marriages, counseling often makes a major difference, dealing with issues such as postpartum depression/anxiety, inability to satisfy your partner, unsaid complaints, and unresolved disputes. Sex therapy and counseling targeted towards bringing couples together is favorable. In case of any permanent, irreversible damage, divorce discernment, as well as co-parenting therapy assures that even if the relationship is beyond saving, neither do the spouses, nor the children carry over any emotional damage due to the severing of the bond. 

 

 

Hence, it is very important to understand that in order to have a positive life, forming positive relationships proves to be very fruitful, and seeking professional help can often help with the process, and give a new perspective towards life. If we can help with building, developing, or cultivating relationships, please schedule a time to speak at our locations in Woodbridge, Virginia, Fairfax, Virginia or our telehealth options.

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The Case for Mental Health Awareness

Mental health difficulties can drastically limit a person’s capacity to live a full life. They can put a damper on relationships, family life, and jobs; as well as financial, social, and racial stability. Mental health issues are connected to family genetics, biological characteristics, and life events. It affects everyone and there is no single gender, race, or age group that is excluded. 

Today, there is a rising understanding of the necessity for mental health treatment. Counselors are needed in all areas as a result of concerns such as depression, anxiety, relationship problems, suicide, and drug abuse among students and the elderly. 

Therapies that tackle relationship problems such as Marriage counseling, Couples Therapy, Trauma treatment/therapy/counseling therapy, and divorce discernment. These are sought after because of their effect not only on the couple but on the people that surround them. 

These kinds of therapies are emotionally focused couples therapies that help couples to figure out what they really want and what they really need.

With the emergence of contemporary psychiatry, both medical professionals and the general public came to accept the concept of mental health and therapy. With increasing acknowledgment of mental institutions’ ineffectiveness, a mental hygiene movement led by doctors, social workers, psychologists, and former hospital patients has emerged. People that suffer from depression and anxiety are encouraged to seek help attend through anxiety treatment/therapy/counseling, depression treatment/therapy/counseling.  

Aside from that, children in their adolescent period are being encouraged to seek teen therapy and/or adolescent therapy to help them understand themselves and who they are as a person.

The Center for Connection, Healing, and Change was envisioned as a haven for a joyful connection to oneself and one’s loved ones. 

We are centered on the development of safe, intimate, and gratifying relationships. We believe that therapy should be a secure place where you may talk about how you’re feeling and thinking without fear of being criticized. We focus on resolving because we believe in the value of good, happy relationships for your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Your relationships are healthy; they have the confidence and energy that you can face the obstacles that life throws.

To experience positive outcomes, we introduce you to a person that can help you understand the need for change and help you be prepared to follow the treatment plan as prescribed by the doctor. We will also introduce you to a therapist you can rely on. 

Each therapy session will be specifically tailored to your circumstances to help you recover more effectively. Therapy can be short-term or long-term, depending on your requirements. Additionally, you do not need to be diagnosed with a mental illness to benefit from mental health therapy. 

Many individuals also seek counseling for everyday issues such as work-related stress or mental worries. Others seek assistance through more painful and complicated occasions, such as death or divorce, postpartum depression or anxiety, sex therapy, and co-parenting therapy.

The Center for Connection, Healing, and Change was established as a gathering space for systemically-trained professionals to collaborate, support, and encourage one another on their path to clinical excellence to help their patients in resolving their attachment issues and achieve healthy minds and relationships through various therapies and approaches such as EMDR, meditation, and yoga.

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What does a child therapist do?

Many children and teens have problems that affect how they feel, act, or learn. Therapy is a type of treatment for these problems. It is a way to get help for your child. 

Child therapy or child psychology refers to the treatment of a wide range of issues and disorders that affect children and their families. Psychologists who work primarily with children administer tests, conduct research, and engage in therapy sessions with individuals, families, and groups. Child psychologists work in private practices, schools, hospitals, and government agencies. They have the ultimate goal of coordinating the care and recovery of children with these disorders.

What Does A Child Therapist Do?

Child therapists use language and play to observe, assess, help, and treat children and young people who are experiencing behavioral, emotional, social, and psychological difficulties.

Child therapists work with children and young people who are affected by mental health problems such as depression, aggression, phobias, anxiety, physical/psychosomatic disorders, learning difficulties, and behavioral problems. They support and coordinate their work with others involved with the child or adolescent. Through various techniques and approaches (eg. encouraging and/or engaging in play, drawing, talking, and writing), the child psychotherapist works to help the young person understand and verbalize their feelings – and, hopefully, to overcome or alleviate their psychological problems.

Services a child therapist provides

Child therapists or child counselors may provide service to children and adolescents in these ways:

  • Work to get young clients to an emotionally and mentally stable frame of mind
  • Provide specialized help in areas such as ADHD, abuse, or depression
  • Treat a wide range of mental and emotional illnesses or disorders
  • Use play therapy with games and toys to reveal the feelings and emotions of children
  • Offer individual counseling that encourages talk therapy to explore how children are coping with past issues and work through current distressful challenges
  • Facilitate family counseling with parents or guardians of a child client and communicate ways the caregivers or other significant relatives can better help with the child’s recovery process

What Happens in Therapy?

At first, the therapist will meet with you and your child to talk. They will ask questions and listen. This helps them learn more about your child and about the problem. The therapist will tell you how they can help.

After that, your child will go to more therapy visits. At these visits, your child might:

Talk: 

Talking is a healthy way to express feelings. When kids put feelings into words instead of actions, they can act their best. When someone listens and knows how they feel, kids are more ready to learn.

Do activities. 

Therapists use activities to teach about feelings and coping skills. They may have kids draw or play as a way to learn. They may teach mindfulness and calm breathing as a way to lower stress.

Practice new skills. 

Therapists help kids practice what they learn. They might play games where kids need to wait their turn, use self-control, be patient, follow directions, listen, share, try again, or deal with losing.

Solve problems. 

With older kids and teens, therapists ask how problems affect them at home, at school. They talk about how to solve these problems.

Conclusion

As adults, when we have emotional issues or mental health problems, we are often able to recognize that something is out of sorts; sometimes, we are even able to share our emotions with others. But with children – particularly those who are very young – this may not be possible.  It is then more effective to use play, a medium that comes very naturally to the child, to explore their issues.

A child therapist who has had special training in child therapy/ child psychology can conduct a therapy session with the kid to help them overcome their situation. If you’d like to find a professional for child’s therapy, you can get in touch with  The Center for Connection. 

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Nichole Venable, LPC

Nichole Venable

 

Nichole Venable, LPC

Clients I work with: Children ages 0-12 and their families, teens individually and/or with families, individual adults, caregiving teams including biological, step, adoptive, or foster caregiving teams, LGBTQ youth and adults, clients seeking EMDR therapy, and military individuals and families.

Issues I work with: Anxiety, depression, trauma, childhood adverse experiences, child and adolescent emotional and behavioral concerns, family conflict, sibling issues, parenting/co-parenting, attachment and connection, social skills, bullying, emotional and physical dysregulation, mind-body connection, self-worth, shame, grief & loss, death and dying, identity struggles, LGBTQIA issues, addictive behaviors, self-harm, life transitions, life stressors, and personal growth.

As a systemic and attachment-based therapist, I believe we are all looking for connection, belonging, and acceptance. In this current era of Covid-19, this need has become more apparent and many of us are struggling to find meaning in this tumultuous time.

We are meaning-making creatures. Our brains are constantly trying to organize and process our experiences. When those experiences are overwhelming, painful, or adverse, our brains can make meaning in ways that can cause us distress. The beauty of being human is that we also have the ability to purposefully change and heal difficult experiences so we can find peace and self-worth at any age. That’s where I come in. I help people harness their resilience, take back their power, and find their way back to feeling whole.

Wherever we are in the lifespan – infant, child, teen, or adult – we all need to make sense of what is happening to us, inside us, and in our relationships. Our experiences shape us in profound ways – who we know ourselves to be, how we manage emotions, how we respond to stressors, and how we connect with others.

Emotions can be scary and messy things for children, teens, and adults. I specialize in helping all my clients see their emotions as messengers. We work as a team to understand what those emotions are trying to tell you, how to tolerate them, and how to utilize their wisdom for increased connection, healing, and growth.

I feel extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to receive extensive training in infant and early childhood mental health and attachment. I work with parents to understand newborn cues, behavior, and temperament, and to learn what is unique and special about their baby. I support you to know your baby’s preferences, strengths, and vulnerabilities, and how to decipher the uniquely individual ways they communicate delight, discomfort, and need for connection. Together, we deepen the bond between you, helping you feel attuned and confident in your ability to respond to your baby’s needs.

This training also allows me to work with children and their families where there may have been additional stress, transition, or overwhelm during early years which may be impacting the present. I can support families to process experiences held in the body, make sense of behaviors and emotions, and build a sense of safety and self-esteem.

I have found a lot of joy in working with children and their families. Children express themselves best through play and I enjoy encouraging that communication in the therapy sessions. I work closely with caregivers to help build that bridge of communication by encouraging and guiding therapeutic play in session between caregiver and child. In learning the language of play, we can discover the hurts or confusion that our children are carry around without the language to express it effectively. I can then guide play with the goal of improving connection, self-esteem, and emotion regulation. I aim to help families create the skills they need to navigate the stressors of life, long after therapy has ended.

I also enjoy working with adolescents and their families. The teen years are an exciting stage of life when we explore our identity and explore our growing independence, while still but our brains aren’t quite there yet. Parents are grappling with the balancing act of want to give their children more independence but also wanting to guide and protect. I see my role as supporting families to create a shared language for understanding struggles, navigating these new needs, and staying connected throughout this time.

In my work with adult individuals I help clients regain a sense of their identity, worth, needs, and resilience. Whatever the issue you struggle with, knowing who you are, how you got here, and what you need is the foundation of building a life worth living. I can help you understand your life experiences and help you create the change you desire.

I am a LGBTQIA and non-monogamy-affirming, kink-aware therapist that believes that sexual diversity is just as much a part of our identity as any other definition we take on. I also believe in creating a safe space to talk about sexual diversity without unnecessarily making it a focus of treatment.

I have over 15 years of experience working with children, teens, adults and families. I utilize evidence-based models such as Attachment and Bio-Behavioral Catch-up (ABC for ages 0-2), Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT for ages 3-19), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR for ages 3 through adulthood), and Eco Systemic Structural Family Therapy (families with children ages 0-18).

I have experience working with a variety of populations in multiple settings. I’ve spent time volunteering with NGO’s in India, worked with Native American populations on and off reservations, with military families on and off bases,  with refugees new to this country, with children in therapeutic foster care, with dual diagnosis clients struggling with both addiction and severe mental health, with Hospice patients that have a prognosis of 6 months left and their families, with potential adoptive parents and children in foster care, with parents working with CPS to reunify with their children, with families that have a parent in prison or getting out of prison, teens and adults with addiction, LGBTQIA population, transgendered individuals that want to or are going through transition, non-traditional families including but not limited to polyamorous families, physical, emotional, sexual, environmental, racial trauma, sex-positive, and kink-allied.

 

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What is the difference between Religion and Spirituality?

What is the difference between Religion and Spirituality?

As we find ourselves amongst uncertain times, many of us have begun asking ourselves the deeper soul questions of life: Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of life? Historically, people have turned to religion or spirituality to help address / find meaning to these difficult, yet prominent questions of life.

For many of us, the terms religion and spirituality have been used interchangeably in times past. However, there is a current trend among the younger generation to use the term, spiritual but not religious to describe personal faith practices.

This phrase insinuates that there must in fact be a difference between the two terms. With some help from the Chopra Center* and my own experience as a Spiritual Director**, let’s take a look at what these differences might look like.

In my experience in the realm of spiritual formation, the easiest way for me to sum up the difference between religion and spirituality is by using terms coined by Franciscan Priest Richard Rohr: transaction vs. transformation.

Religion falls into the transaction category as it often mirrors a well-run family business. Often institutionalized, religions are based on the life of a historical or archetypal figure who is the subject of worship, devotion, and practice of community.

Generally, a religious institution is run by some sort of governing board that holds its members to specific, moral rules, doctrines, laws, sacred scriptures, and practices; thus being more external in nature. Much like the family business example, religion is deeply rooted in tradition.

As a means of accomplishing accurate transmission throughout history, the organization often requires an unconditional belief in the religion’s teachings. Due to the sometimes rigid rules for belonging, religions can often be seen as having an undercurrent of fear and exclusivity.

I want to point out that while to some of us the transactions of religion may seem pretty black and white, many individuals find the rigidity of religion to be a comfort in the midst of life chaos and crisis. For these individuals, the commonality of belief and community can create a solid grounding amidst the unpredictability of life.

While many remain in the religious pocket, it has been my experience that others may move from religion to spirituality, or jump straight into spirituality without a religious base.

For some who begin in a religious circle, the demands of religious practice and belief can weigh heavy and they may at some point look for an option that allows for a bit more diversity and freedom. Some may call this process faith deconstruction.

While religion may focus its worship on the historic or archetypal figure, Spirituality focuses on the practical application of the founder’s teachings and thus has a much more internal approach than religion. As the “family business” side of religion can be seen with the naked eye, spirituality is not often seen, but internally experienced by the individual.

This experience is often a shift in awareness of a connection to something larger than you and includes a following of this inner call to Spirit which often leads to personal transformation of consciousness.

Many who call themselves spiritual enjoy the less-formulaic aspects of faith and trust the “pathless path” of mystery and self-discovery. Instead of an unconditional belief in religious teachings, spirituality lends itself to truths that evolve and expand, which is a more direct experience of the soul.

While the members of religion enjoy a more exclusive, tight-knit family system, those engaged in spirituality see all beings as family and favor inclusivity of everyone being on a path to awakening and support these paths with unconditional love and kindness.

Depending on where you are on your journey toward inner awakening, either religion or spirituality could be a good fit. Even the path of agnosticism and atheism can be practices of awakening and are sources of “push back” which can actually push you forward.

Wherever you find yourself on the journey of awakening, I would find it a personal honor to sit with you as a travel companion of sorts; pointing out the sights you may have overlooked, the bumps that have you stuck, and the road map your life is already laying out before you.

— Laurie Wevers, MA, LMFT

    Certification in Spiritual Direction

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*https://chopra.com/articles/religion-vs-spirituality-what-is-the-difference

**Spiritual direction is the practice of being with people as they attempt to deepen their relationship with the divine, or to learn and grow in their own personal spirituality. The person seeking direction shares stories of their encounters of the divine, or how they are cultivating a life attuned to spiritual things. The director listens and asks questions to assist the directee in his or her process of reflection and spiritual growth. Spiritual direction advocates claim that it develops a deeper awareness with the spiritual aspect of being human.

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What to Expect from Teen and Family Counseling

If your family is considering initiating counseling for your teen, it might be that the level of distress or conflict in the home is high. As a parent, you do your best to provide everything you can for your children and still, they may struggle, or your relationship with one another feels challenging or distant.

It takes incredible courage to reach out for support when, in spite of your best intentions, you are seeing your teen struggle. It can be helpful to know what to expect from counseling and ease any worries or fears about the experience. 

First, you can begin by looking through our ‘About Us’ page and seeing if there is a therapist whose profile page you resonate with. If you aren’t sure who might be a good fit, our Intake staff can thoughtfully match you with one of our trained and experienced therapists. The initial session will be between the therapist and parents. This is an important conversation to gather historical information around development, behavior, life stressors or transitions, and relational dynamics. It also gives you the opportunity to create a connection with your teen’s therapist, and collaborate on how therapy will be structured and how you share important information with one another.

The next few sessions will be with your teen and the therapist. This gives your teen and the therapist time to create mutual trust get to know one another. It also allows time for your therapist to understand your teen’s struggle and how these might be playing out in their behavior or in their relationships. 

As counseling continues, sessions are structured to best meet the needs of you and your teen. Sessions may be with parents/caregivers individually, individual sessions with teens, the entire family, or with one parent and the teen. Structuring services to be responsive to the needs of each unique family allows us to focus on the multiple relationships between parents, siblings, and the family. It offers the opportunity to explore challenges, heal and strengthen connection, and create change together. At CCHC our goal is for each family member to feel seen, heard and understood.

Our evidence-based approach supports mutual understanding and growth, refraining from any finger-pointing at what parents “should be doing” or condemning a teen for their current behaviors. 

Below is a list of the benefits of investing in teen and family therapy with CCHC. 

  • New and improved map for communicating 

    • Our therapists can support you and your teen in identifying what is not working in your current communication pattern. This allows for the co-creation of new and more effective ways of communicating with one another.

  • Mutual understanding

    • Parents and teens can often feel as though they are living on different planets. Your priorities, needs, roles, and responsibilities are different. We will support you and your teen in understanding one another from a place of kindness, structure, and empathy…even if you do not agree. 

  • New problem-solving skills 

    • With improved communication and a better understanding of one another’s perspective, moving through struggles together often starts to occur organically. However, if it does not, our therapists can support you and your teen in finding ways to address specific challenges and proactively problem-solve.

  • Healthy balance of structure and nurture 

    • As your teen’s distress or symptoms have decreased and the family is feeling more connected, many families experience a better balance of quality time and enjoyment of each other alongside clearer expectations and adherence to boundaries or limits.

  • Difficult conversations & deeper bonds 

    • At times, hearing a teen’s pain can ignite many feelings about who we are as parents. Our therapists are skilled in supporting your family in hearing one another in a manner that does not create more pain or disconnection. We also offer support to process what is shared with each other.  This creates an opportunity for healing old wounds and for your family resilience to flourish.  The therapeutic work you and your teen invest in can create sustainable change in your relationship lasting a lifetime.

 

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