Samantha Blancher

Samantha Blancher, LMFT

She/her/hers – what are personal pronouns and why do they matter?

Clients I work with: Adult individuals, couples, military, and LGBTQIA+ adults.

Issues I work with: Communication, emotional intimacy, relationship dynamics, trauma, anxiety, depression,  recurring disagreements, emotional closeness and security, life transitions, self-worth, military life, identity, guilt and shame, peer relationships, school concerns, and parenting.

 

In an ideal world, our early experiences of connection offer us a sense of security, safety, accessibility, and responsiveness. Where this has been the case, we are able to develop an internal sense of ourselves as loveable, worthy, and deserving of getting our needs met. But what happens when this has not been our experience, where our imperfect caregivers may not always have known how to offer this to us?

My experience is that many of us have had to find ways to adapt and survive moments of disconnect, invalidation, or criticism. This can often mean we hold beliefs about ourselves that are limiting, worry that we have to hide or minimize parts of who we are, deny certain emotions, hustle for our worth, and/or build up layers of protection.

We may find ourselves stuck in a conflict between parts of us that long for connection and belonging and parts that strive to protect us from the possibility of further pain, rejection, or disconnection. This internal conflict can frequently play out in our important relationships in ways that create conflict, distance, frustration, and confusion.

I believe in creating an experience for deeper self-exploration, healing, and compassion. Whether you are an individual, couple, or adolescent my goal is to create a space of self-led and directive healing so that you can live with greater security and confidence and build more satisfying relationships.

I am particularly committed to welcoming all parts of you into the therapeutic process so that you don’t have to check your needs or emotions at the door. I support all clients in the room to explore moments of disconnection, unresolved emotional wounds, patterns of protection, and conflicting needs and treat these as opportunities for deeper understanding, connection, security, and joy.

I typically utilize Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy in my work with couples which offers an evidence-based, well-researched, and effective map for the creation of lasting change. Collaboration is a key component of how I choose to work with couples. Together, we get curious about your current relationship dynamics and the ways in which these move you towards either connection or conflict. As we start to make sense of your well-worn cycles, I can help you make space to better understand each partner’s core beliefs about connection, the ways in which each of your raw spots shows up in your cycle, and the different strategies each of you has for managing relationship distress. Clients often share how illuminating this process is for understanding their struggles and starting to view this in new and more compassionate ways.

This process offers a road map for individual and relational healing, deepened emotional intimacy, more satisfying communication, and moments of softness. Together you can find ways to increase security, lay down your protections, and find ways to more fully meet each other’s needs by creating your own shared language for connection.

In my work with adolescents and their families/caregivers, I strive to create a more experiential and less talk-focused space through the use of sand tray work, art and even play therapy techniques. Supporting teens to understand themselves and express their needs in a healthy way is a valuable life skill that they can lean upon long after therapy has ended. I support families to more openly discuss their relationship dynamics, and what they need from each other, and to navigate the constant process of change that this developmental stage often presents. Parenting a teen is a truly challenging time, and I am invested in supporting parents with the delicate balance of nurture and engagement, with structure and healthy challenge as they prepare their teen(s)for adulthood.

Additionally, as a military spouse, raising military children in a blended home, I have a passion and understanding of the unique and specific challenges military couples, individuals, spouses, and children face. I am particularly invested in working with our military community to build unified relationships that can face and withstand any challenge that military life can bring.

As a relational, trauma-informed, and attachment-based therapist, I value your safety and am always willing to lean into repair if there is ever a moment of disconnect or I miss an important need. Giving you, the client, permission to have your own voice in our work, experience authentic connection, practice healthy boundaries and expand your experience of what is available to you in the world.

I identify as an LGBTQIA+ ally, non-monogamy-affirming, sex-positive, culturally humble therapist.