12751 Marblestone Dr, Suite 200, Woodbridge, VA 22192 | 3930 Walnut St, Suite 250, Fairfax, VA 22030 | 
info@thecenterforconnection.com | (703) 878-3290 |

Restore your loving connection

Grace VanDerMeid

Grace VanDerMeid, Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy

She/her/hers – what are personal pronouns and why do they matter?

Clients I work with: Adult individuals, couples, children, families, and parents, including those with autism and ADHD. As an inclusive and culturally sensitive therapist, I am committed to affirming LGBTQIA+ identities

Issues I work with: Communication, family and couple dynamics, recurring patterns or disagreements, emotional connection and intimacy, chronic illness, disability, neurodiversity, parenting, emotion regulation, life transitions, self-worth, grief and loss, trauma, blended families, cultural and identity issues, intergenerational patterns, issues from childhood, family of origin concerns, cycle breaking, school issues, behavioral issues, military life, conflict, and financial stress.

 

My Approach

My primary goal is to deeply understand your struggles and make space for your pain. Life is hard and has a habit of sending consistent challenges our way. I view therapy as a dedicated space where your struggles are acknowledged, organized, processed, and transformed. The cornerstone of this process will be the power that systemic therapy offers to build safe, supportive, and loving relationships.

This will be a commitment that I make to you as my client, and where I work with couples and families, this will be the primary focus of our work. No matter what life sends your way, the greatest resource you have against fear, hurt, stress, and loss will be your loved ones and important relationships.

My therapeutic style is characterized by a slow and steady approach. I take time to slow everything down and learn more about the emotions and human needs that underpin your struggles. When we work together, I will be thorough in learning the history context, and ‘subtitles’ of your hurts so I can get to the roots of the issue. You will experience me as gentle, warm, inviting, validating, organizing, and direct when necessary.

I am committed to offering a respectful process that fosters safety, allowing you to share your most vulnerable emotions without fear of judgment. I want to reassure you that your pain, patterns, and protectors are valid and are a response to unmet needs. There is nothing you do that does not make sense when context is accounted for.

Using evidence-based models, I provide clear strategies for creating lasting change, one need, interaction, wound, or protector at a time. . I serve as a supportive, organizing, normalizing, validating, and directive guide. My approach is designed to support meaningful transformation, helping you break free from unproductive patterns and build new, healthier ways of relating to yourself and important others.

Individual Therapy

In an ideal world, our early experiences of connection offer us a sense of security, safety, accessibility, and responsiveness. Where this has been the case, we are able to develop an internal sense of ourselves as loveable, worthy, and deserving of getting our needs met. But what happens when this has not been our experience, where our imperfect caregivers may not always have known how to offer this to us?

My experience is that many of us have had to find ways to adapt and survive moments of disconnect, invalidation, or criticism. This can often mean we hold beliefs about ourselves that are limiting, worry that we have to hide or minimize parts of who we are, deny certain emotions, hustle for our worth, and/or build up layers of protection.

We may find ourselves stuck in a conflict between parts of us that long for connection and belonging and parts that strive to protect us from the possibility of further pain, rejection, or disconnection. This internal conflict can frequently play out in our important relationships in ways that create conflict, distance, frustration, and confusion.

I believe in creating an experience for deeper self-exploration, healing, and compassion. Whether you are an individual, couple, or adolescent my goal is to create a space of self-led and directive healing so that you can live with greater security and confidence and build more satisfying relationships.

I am particularly committed to welcoming all parts of you into the therapeutic process so that you don’t have to check your needs or emotions at the door. I support all clients in the room to explore moments of disconnection, unresolved emotional wounds, patterns of protection, and conflicting needs and treat these as opportunities for deeper understanding, connection, security, and joy.

 

 

Couples Therapy

In couples therapy, I believe that how you show up and respond to your partner is rooted in your earlier experiences of family/caregiver and adult love relationships. In addition to exploring your current patterns of connection and communication, I can also help you understand and organize your previous relational experiences.

Where you have past hurts, wounds, adaptations, and protections that are playing out in the present, I can help you be a source of healing and new possibilities. My goal is to help couples navigate current emotional disconnection, misses, and conflict through a comprehensive understanding of the impact of previous attachment patterns and interactions.

I integrate Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and Narrative Therapy to explore and address the emotional experiences and unmet needs that underpin misunderstandings, ruptures in security, and conflicts. We focus on creating an emotionally accessible and responsive space where both of you can take the risk to share vulnerabilities, fears, and unresolved pain.

I can walk you through the process of uncovering and tending to attachment wounds, whether the origins are in your current love relationships or in past connections. You represent a powerful source of healing and repair for one another, regardless of whether you are the original source or the opportunity to experience something different.

By embracing emotions and your very human needs for connection, partners are supported to share their fears, insecurities, and emotional needs more openly. This openness helps to de-escalate old cycles, rebuild trust, and foster a deeper, more secure emotional connection. Building security and trust is the foundation for finding new and more satisfying ways to relate, heal old issues, and foster a stronger emotional bond.

I also use Narrative Therapy to help partners examine and reframe the stories and narratives they hold about themselves and their relationship. This includes exploring how past experiences, personal histories, messages, and experiences of relationships influence their current beliefs and behaviors. By addressing these narratives, we can better understand how past vulnerabilities and attachment dynamics shape present challenges.

As a systems-based therapist, I am committed to looking at the broader context of the relationship. I make space for your lived experiences of race, culture, spirituality, language, and gender. This holistic approach helps in identifying the layers of experience that each person holds and makes space for your full personhood to be met. My aim is to support couples in developing a more cohesive and supportive relationship dynamic that includes all of what it means to be human.

 

 

Family Therapy

I work with families to create a solid map for navigating the challenges, changes, and transitions of life. I work with children aged 2 to 18 and their parents by providing support, validation, normalization, and maps for secure relationships that are particularly relevant in times of need. Family life is both a source of nurturance and joy and ongoing challenges such as conflict, communication breakdowns, emotional overwhelm, and disconnection. I offer to support to help families through these times in ways that protect and nurture your connection, as the greatest resource your children will have during the stressors of living.

Whether you are navigating emotional dysregulation, conflicts, defiance, strained connections, or significant life changes, I am dedicated to understanding each family member individually and exploring what each of you needs. My role is to listen, understand, and support your family through your struggles so you can come through the other side with more effective tools, a deeper understanding of needs, and clarity about how to be accessible and responsive to one another.

In family therapy, I use a blend of Attachment-Based Family Therapy (ABFT) and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) to address these concerns. We begin by focusing on moments of emotional overwhelm, misunderstanding, or miscommunication and how these ripple out into all interactions. Both models serve to support families to better understand behaviors by identifying the core needs, stressors, or overwhelm that is underpinning them. All child and teen behaviors make sense when you know what is driving them, and greater possibilities for slowing down, tuning in, softening, and addressing needs directly can emerge.

EFFT focuses on exploring and resolving patterns of emotional distress and disconnection. It emphasizes strengthening emotional bonds, creating a safe space for addressing underlying needs, and de-escalating moments of frustration, helplessness, and overwhelm. Knowing how to meet both your child’s and your own needs during stressful times is a challenging task so we make space for the needs of each parent and your different ways of handling parenting demands.

My role is to help you restructure your communication strategies/interactions patterns, moment by moment, so that you have a solid map for offering nurture, engagement, structure, and a healthy push to grow. Finding balance between these four domains of secure connection is an ongoing challenge and most of us have not had the experience of being parented/cared for from this lens.

Together, we will help each of you build self-worth, clarity, security, and connection that can be relied upon long after therapy has ended. The goal is to enhance communication, deepen emotional connection, and restore calm and trust, so that everyone can feel secure in the knowledge their needs will be met.

Through these efforts, each family member will feel more valued, understood, and connected. I aim to create lasting and positive changes in family dynamics and relationships, helping everyone thrive and feel the love that is available to them, especially during difficult times.

 

 

My Background

I hold a Master’s degree in Couples and Family Therapy from Drexel University and completed my undergraduate studies at Virginia Tech—Go Hokies! My theoretical background includes utilizing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Attachment-Based Family Therapy (ABFT), Experiential Therapy, Systems Theory, and Narrative Therapy. I have gained valuable experience working within schools through AmeriCorps and completed internships in Philadelphia, providing in-home and in-school therapy to children and families.

I identify as a sex-positive, LGBTQIA+ allied, ENM (Ethically Non-Monogamy) affirming, HAES (Health at Every Size) oriented, and culturally humble. I am committed to fostering an inclusive and supportive environment for clients.

Grace currently works under the supervision of Rachel Pendergraft Beck, LMFT. In the event that clients have any questions or concerns about her work, her supervisor can be contacted at: rpendergraftbeck@thecenterforconnection.com, (703) 878-3290, 3930 Walnut St, Suite 250, Fairfax, VA 22030.